My day began like this.  Make breakfast.  Clean up additional items pulled out of refrigerator by “helper.”  Burn breakfast while returning salad dressing, soy sauce, barbeque sauce and pickle relish to the refrigerator.

Give up on breakfast. Dump the hot, scorched pan in the sink, and leave for the garden center–picking up breakfast sandwiches on the way. (I know, not frugal or gluten-free, so regretted on all fronts).

M, my youngest, age 5 "helping" with plants.

Today was the 27th sunny day of the year so far in Seattle. Please note the date. May 12. Yes, it was only our 27th day of sunshine for the entire year. The garden should have been in months ago.

Actually, I’ve planted my garden twice. Once it flooded out, once it was eaten to the ground by maniacal bunnies, (apparently ravaged by vitamin D deficiency). I’ve lost my chance to start any more plants from seed, so I had to break down and buy plants from seed.  I had to do it before the garden center stopped carrying seedlings, babysitter or no babysitter.

At 8:50, we had been in the car outside the garden center for  ten minutes, and my youngest daughter had already asked me fourty-two times what we were waiting in the car for. “Why aren’t we going in yet?”  Me (through snarled lips) “For the fourty-second time–you have not finished eating your sandwich yet! We are waiting on YOU!” (Truthfully, the garden center didn’t open until 9, but I didn’t want her food congealing and stinking up my car while we were in there either).

Sandwich eaten (or sufficiently picked at) our youngest decided that we could go buy the plants now. I pulled out an unwieldy cart, and lurched and turned it around to head into the store. I was promptly hit in the back of the ankles by another cart.

How in the hell does this happen? What’s the big freakin’ hurry? The place just opened and it’s empty!

I turned around to acknowledge my assailant (deciding if I should take the “please pardon me” or the “where’s the fire” approach), and found my five year old daughter pushing the offending cart. She couldn’t even see through the back of the cart, and held her little hands at pig-tail level to push the thing.

“Melat! What is our rule here?”

“No touching anything?” She responds quietly from behind the cart.

“Yes. Why do you have a cart?”

“For the stuff that I buy.”

“Did you bring your allowance?”

“No.”

“Do you need to plant green bean plants?”

“No.”

“Why do you have a cart?”

“Ummmm….” she says as she begins backing away from me with the cart.

I sigh, dislodged my cart from whatever it was stuck on, and heave it into the garden center. Tomatoes, bean starts, pumpkins, and a few annual herbs destined for our patio herb garden went into the cart.

Chili peppers, flowers, and little pink garden gloves came out of the cart and went back on their proper shelves.

I then pushed the cart with my “helper” awkwardly. She walked in front of me–between me and the cart handle “helping” me to push the cart–her little hands under mine (firmly) on the cart rail so she will stop “helping” with items I cannot see.

I saw a garden center employee behind me pulling aside several tomato plants that appear to have had their tops lopped off about halfway up the height of the plant, and hoped that had nothing to do with our arrival on the scene.

I finished the shopping trip by nodding my head in the rough direction of plants and dictating to my twelve-year-old (reading, instruction-following) daughter. “There, Pink Lady tomatoes–two of them, top shelf. Bottom shelf, one pumpkin, your choice of variety.”  ”On the herb shelf–dill. It will smell like the tartar sauce I make.”

By the time we arrived at the checkstand, I was exhausted.

Miraculously, everything in the cart was mostly undamaged, and only items I actually planned to buy. I was proud of myself for paying with exact change, cash and totally within budget. “Yes!” I murmered to myself and pushed the cart to the car…wondering if I was actually on budget, since it was the third time I’ve had to plant the garden this season. At what point should a gardener throw in the towel and determine that it is more frugal to buy the produce at the supermarket?

I breathed a sigh of relief that we had gotten to the car without incident. I told my youngest to “assume the position” (like in the television show COPS my rule is “put a hand on the car” in the parking lot). She put one hand on the car, and one on where her hip is gonna be one day, and I started loading plants carefully into the trunk of my station wagon.

And then it happened. Dirt hit me. It splattered me, everywhere. I froze, startled. I hear my oldest say “whoa” behind me under her breath.

This could only mean one thing.

More “helping.” I turned around just in time to catch my youngest–one hand on the car, one hand into the basket of the cart–getting ready to chuck the second six-pack of Blue Lake bean starts over the back seat of the car so they can “ride up front with us mom. I’m just helping.”

Deep breaths.

I turned to my oldest, asked her to load the car, and I picked of my youngest at the waist, set her into the carseat and told her “Don’t touch anything!”

We got in the car to go home and my oldest daughter says “Wow, good job mom–we only spent 14 minutes in that store.”

::whimper::

Arriving home, I sent my little helper in the front door first. “Run inside and make your bed before lunch,” I said, and she eagerly complied.  Before lunch? I thought.  I’ve got three more hours!

I grabbed the herb starts from the back of the car, the trowel from the garage and headed out to the back deck to divide and plant them in my containers. A quick transplant of dill and cilantro, not a complicated task. I headed to the deck thinking that this was just what I needed after our harrowing fourteen-minute trip to the garden center.

I patted out the dill and began dividing the clumps, and set the little plastic bucket aside.

I hear “I got it for ya momma” from my youngest. That was some quick bed-making I think, but she’s happy and busy, so whatever. As I stood up to start on the cilantro, I  saw it. Through the patio window, into my beautiful cream-on-cream colored house–light furniture, light floors, everything had been clean simultaneously for the first time in weeks.

What she “got,” was not the bed making, it was the little plastic container from the plant. She went to “help” me by tossing it in the trash. In the kitchen.

To accomplish this task, she traversed through the dining room, foyer, living room (to pet the cat on the sofa from the looks of it) and to the trash in the kitchen.

There was a distinct trail of little globules of damp potting soil through the whole house. The whole freaking house. It was about four-feet wide, and using my highly-trained mommy-forensic skills, I take this to mean that the trail was formed by skipping rather than walking through the house.

She is a cheery helper.

I went to the bathroom, filled a bucket with water, and found an old scrub-brush. I needed help with a very important task.

My happy little helper spent the rest of the afternoon happily enjoying the warm sunshine and scrubbing away at our outdoor patio, while inside, I scrubbed away at the rugs, counting my blessings.

Dear Jesus,

Help me to serve you always with the same joy of service that my children serve me with.

Help me to count their service always as a blessing.

Help me to remember, that when they serve me, they are practicing to serve You.

Help me to be a kind and patient teacher as they blossom into the people they are to become.

Amen

"Helping" me by incubating the seeds I planted.

Take a moment. Think about the past nine months and how the economic downturn has changed your life. What have you had to give up? What were the changes, the goodbyes and the endings?

A year ago Holly and Craig Hunter were loving life. They both had jobs, a roof over their heads, and two beautiful daughters, Casey (2 years) and Rowan (4 years). Life was good. When the economy started to go sour in the fall, Craig lost his job at Jiffy Lube. As with thousands of others in his same situation, finding employment elsewhere became difficult. Holly was able to keep the family above water as she had been employed with Washington Mutual for 4 years. Although the banking system was shaky, she still had an income. When Washington Mutual was taken over by Chase, financially things began to slide further for Holly and Craig. More hours worked…less income.

The economic pressures took a toll both emotionally and financially on the family. Holly knew a change needed to happen. With the limited time and finances they had Holly went back to school and began the training to become and Emergency Medical Technician. One July 9th she passed the National Registry Exam and became a certified EMT.

Holly and Craig had a plan, and although financially strapped they were beginning to move forward and pick themselves back up. It would take months, maybe even years to build up their nest egg but they were on the right track. Until the bottom of their world fell out.

Their youngest daughter, Casey, was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome in June. Nephrotic Syndrome is a condition that effects kidney function. They spent many hours this winter and spring in and out of doctors’ offices. Toward the end of July, Casey was admitted to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital with a kidney infection. Under special medical care and observation, Casey fought the infection and was cleared to go home. While getting Casey bathed and dressed to go home the family’s real nightmare began. Casey ‘coded’…her body went limp. A team of doctors and nurses descended on two-year-old Casey, but it was too late. Casey died. Cured of her kidney infection, and excited to go home to play with her big sister Rowan, Casey was dead. A pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in the lung, killed her. The condition is not even related to Nephrotic Syndrome.

Holly and Craig have had to make some hard choices this past week. Never could they imagine that with this economy and their lack of funds they would have to ‘bargain’ shop for a cemetery plot for their precious little angel. Never could Holly and Craig have imagined they would have to make a ‘financially responsible’ option between the cheaper cremation over a traditional burial with casket, although Holly’s heart has chosen the option for her. Holly could not choose cremation, she could not fathom that for her baby girl. Never could Holly and Craig imagine they would have to ask the question, “What can we afford?” when it came to the funeral plans of their youngest child. To make matters worse, when Chase Bank was approached to set up a special account for Casey’s family to offset the cost of funeral expenses, the family was denied on grounds of a “confilict of interest.”

A year ago Holly and Craig would never have imagined the nightmare they are facing today. The loss of an income or the downsizing of a position seems small in comparison to the nightmare of how to afford a proper good-bye for their sweet happy little girl.

CASEY CHRISTEEN HUNTER
8/24/2006 ~ 7/30/2009

Casey Christeen Hunter passed away Thursday, July 30, 2009 at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, OR. She was born on August 24, 2006 in Vancouver, WA.

Even though she was only on this earth for a short time, she touched many people. She had a special way about her that made people smile. Casey enjoyed spending time with her family and friends, and trying to keep up with her big sister, Rowan. Casey was always such a happy little girl. She enjoyed being outdoors, and also really loved dogs especially her stuffed dog “Pepper.” Everyone who knew her appreciated how she was so “Casey.” She was very polite and continued to be her adorable, loving self, even during her recent hospital visits. Although diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome in June, Casey’s death was sudden and unexpected. She will be missed forever by all who knew and loved her.

She is survived at home by her parents, Holly (Gillespie) Hunter and Craig Hunter II; and her older sister, Rowan Hunter. Casey is also survived by her grandparents, Joy and Vern Earhart; grandfather, Craig Hunter; aunt, Kendall Freeman; aunt, Cristi (Rick) Dahlstrom; and cousins, Jordan, Jocelyn, Austin, Zach, and Brandon. She is also survived by her Papa and Nana, Al and Sundii Gillespie; uncle, Geoff Gillespie; uncle, Ryan J. Gillespie; as well as cousins, Elliott, Celia, Samantha, and Allie. Casey also is survived by her great-grandmother, Wilma Gillespie; as well as numerous other well loved family members and friends.

If you would like to provide additional support to the Hunter Family in their time of need, Casey’s parents have established an educational needs account for Casey’s sister, Rowan, at www.caseyhunter.com.

Take a moment. Think about the past nine months and how the economic downturn has changed your life. What have you had to give up? What have you had to say good-bye too?

This post was a guest post from writer and mommy-friend Julie Barclay. This darling little girl is almost the same age as my youngest daughter, and I was eager to allow Julie to spread the word–not just for the Hunter family, but also for a reminder to all readers to treasure what we hold dearest. I don’t doubt that the Hunter family would do anything to have even a few hours with Casey back–in your struggles with employment, money, debt or stress, please take a moment to put yourself in the Hunter’s shoes and ask if you’re prioritizing your stressors appropriately. If you are spending your time and energy within your values structure. Ultimately, you may also need to be asking if you are prepared. I’ll be posting soon as a semi-follow-up about economical and respectful funerals–as I’ve recently experienced a loss in my family, I’ve noticed a few stories and ideas in the news that might be of value to others.

Take a moment. Think about the past nine months and how the economic downturn has changed your life. What have you had to give up? What were the changes, the goodbyes and the endings?

A year ago Holly and Craig Hunter were loving life. They both had jobs, a roof over their heads, and two beautiful daughters, Casey (2 years) and Rowan (4 years). Life was good. When the economy started to go sour in the fall, Craig lost his job at Jiffy Lube. As with thousands of others in his same situation, finding employment elsewhere became difficult. Holly was able to keep the family above water as she had been employed with Washington Mutual for 4 years. Although the banking system was shaky, she still had an income. When Washington Mutual was taken over by Chase, financially things began to slide further for Holly and Craig. More hours worked…less income.

The economic pressures took a toll both emotionally and financially on the family. Holly knew a change needed to happen. With the limited time and finances they had Holly went back to school and began the training to become and Emergency Medical Technician. One July 9th she passed the National Registry Exam and became a certified EMT.

Holly and Craig had a plan, and although financially strapped they were beginning to move forward and pick themselves back up. It would take months, maybe even years to build up their nest egg but they were on the right track. Until the bottom of their world fell out.

Their youngest daughter, Casey, was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome in June. Nephrotic Syndrome is a condition that effects kidney function. They spent many hours this winter and spring in and out of doctors’ offices. Toward the end of July, Casey was admitted to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital with a kidney infection. Under special medical care and observation, Casey fought the infection and was cleared to go home. While getting Casey bathed and dressed to go home the family’s real nightmare began. Casey ‘coded’…her body went limp. A team of doctors and nurses descended on two-year-old Casey, but it was too late. Casey died. Cured of her kidney infection, and excited to go home to play with her big sister Rowan, Casey was dead. A pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in the lung, killed her. The condition is not even related to Nephrotic Syndrome.

Holly and Craig have had to make some hard choices this past week. Never could they imagine that with this economy and their lack of funds they would have to ‘bargain’ shop for a cemetery plot for their precious little angel. Never could Holly and Craig have imagined they would have to make a ‘financially responsible’ option between the cheaper cremation over a traditional burial with casket, although Holly’s heart has chosen the option for her. Holly could not choose cremation, she could not fathom that for her baby girl. Never could Holly and Craig imagine they would have to ask the question, “What can we afford?” when it came to the funeral plans of their youngest child. To make matters worse, when Chase Bank was approached to set up a special account for Casey’s family to offset the cost of funeral expenses, the family was denied on grounds of a “confilict of interest.”

A year ago Holly and Craig would never have imagined the nightmare they are facing today. The loss of an income or the downsizing of a position seems small in comparison to the nightmare of how to afford a proper good-bye for their sweet happy little girl.

CASEY CHRISTEEN HUNTER
8/24/2006 ~ 7/30/2009

Casey Christeen Hunter passed away Thursday, July 30, 2009 at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, OR. She was born on August 24, 2006 in Vancouver, WA.

Even though she was only on this earth for a short time, she touched many people. She had a special way about her that made people smile. Casey enjoyed spending time with her family and friends, and trying to keep up with her big sister, Rowan. Casey was always such a happy little girl. She enjoyed being outdoors, and also really loved dogs especially her stuffed dog “Pepper.” Everyone who knew her appreciated how she was so “Casey.” She was very polite and continued to be her adorable, loving self, even during her recent hospital visits. Although diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome in June, Casey’s death was sudden and unexpected. She will be missed forever by all who knew and loved her.

She is survived at home by her parents, Holly (Gillespie) Hunter and Craig Hunter II; and her older sister, Rowan Hunter. Casey is also survived by her grandparents, Joy and Vern Earhart; grandfather, Craig Hunter; aunt, Kendall Freeman; aunt, Cristi (Rick) Dahlstrom; and cousins, Jordan, Jocelyn, Austin, Zach, and Brandon. She is also survived by her Papa and Nana, Al and Sundii Gillespie; uncle, Geoff Gillespie; uncle, Ryan J. Gillespie; as well as cousins, Elliott, Celia, Samantha, and Allie. Casey also is survived by her great-grandmother, Wilma Gillespie; as well as numerous other well loved family members and friends.

If you would like to provide additional support to the Hunter Family in their time of need, Casey’s parents have established an educational needs account for Casey’s sister, Rowan, at www.caseyhunter.com.

Take a moment. Think about the past nine months and how the economic downturn has changed your life. What have you had to give up? What have you had to say good-bye too?

This post was a guest post from writer and mommy-friend Julie Barclay. This darling little girl is almost the same age as my youngest daughter, and I was eager to allow Julie to spread the word–not just for the Hunter family, but also for a reminder to all readers to treasure what we hold dearest. I don’t doubt that the Hunter family would do anything to have even a few hours with Casey back–in your struggles with employment, money, debt or stress, please take a moment to put yourself in the Hunter’s shoes and ask if you’re prioritizing your stressors appropriately. If you are spending your time and energy within your values structure. Ultimately, you may also need to be asking if you are prepared. I’ll be posting soon as a semi-follow-up about economical and respectful funerals–as I’ve recently experienced a loss in my family, I’ve noticed a few stories and ideas in the news that might be of value to others.

Also, I’m contemplating a redesign for Pennywise Family. If you think it needs a fresh face, would you email or comment with your ideas for improvement? A wish-list will be created and prioritized.

OK, now on to the main event for today. I recieved an email this week about this clothing swap site, for “occasions” clothing. Think Easter dresses, Prom, and holiday duds. This would be great for those families with multiple kids especially. If you’ve got a teenage daughter with a prom dress, but then four little boys not needing the hand-me-down, what about swapping the prom dress for a few pairs of slacks? I’ve seen similar swaps elsewhere, but I thought this was really innovative, especially since if your kids are like mine, they have already grown out of their Easter outfits.

This also works great for moms and dads for that Company party formalwear you don’t need hanging around. I’ve got a few things I was thinking about consigning, but may swap for kids Xmas dresses.

Here’s the site: www.PriorAttire.com